And I cry, Sasuke
by princessofnothingxx
Summary: He is the cruel sinner who cheats and betrays and breaks her. She is the naive fool unable to forget him. But Hinata knows all is not as it seems... SASUHINA


Well, this is a suckish story that was written by a suckish author who can't be bothered to write something decent. So I guess you're stuck with this.

* * *

And I cry, Sasuke

I often find myself wondering whether you ever feel regret for the pain you put me through. I sometimes think to myself, would he care if I died right now.

_I always hate the answer._

And do you know what I realise, Sasuke. I realise that you can't be there for me the way that I need you to be, you can't help but leave me alone in this house as you return to another's awaiting arms.

And then I will sit in silence and wait for the next time you come crawling back to me, whispering how much you love me. How much you need me and how you'll never leave me again. But guess what Sasuke, you will.

You will and it hurts so much.

_And I cry, Sasuke._

* * *

How long have I been sitting here? How long have I been waiting for you to appear and tell me you love me?

'_A long time'_, my mind figures and my heart splits just that tiny bit further, another fragment is lost forever as I wait silently for you.

I hear the front door open and I know it's you, Sasuke.

You're the only one who still visits me. You're the only one who still remembers my name. Everyone else has forgotten me. Forgotten who I was.

They are afraid, I think. They are afraid to see what the calm, gentle Hinata has become. When I finally cut myself off from the world, none of them ever attempted to stop me. None of them ever attempted to care.

And sometimes, when I'm alone, I think to myself that maybe you do care, that maybe you do love me. And I'm happy Sasuke. I'm happy because, for a short while, I feel loved at last.

But I know how dangerous these thoughts are; allowing myself to think that you love me. Allowing my heart to pulse just that tiny bit faster whenever I think of you. It's so dangerous, but I don't care. I don't care if it hurts me.

It's funny, really. It's funny that you think that you're the only one who has ever suffered. It's funny that you think you're the only one who has lost anybody close to you.

But Sasuke, you're not.

You see, I lost my mother as well, Sasuke. I lost my mother when I was five years old. After that my father changed as well. In a sense, I lost him too. Sasuke, you're parents were killed. My father is still alive today but, if anything, it is more painful than anything else. Having my own father live to 

despise me, it broke me Sasuke. He turned against me and also took away my sister. And I'm all alone, Sasuke.

Please, I wish that for once you'd just see me. I wish that you'd care for my hurt. But you don't and you never will.

But for some reason, I love you Sasuke. I don't know why, but I guess that old saying is true: there's a fine line between love and hate.

Sometimes I even think you try and make me hate you. That you try so hard to stop me from loving you because you are afraid of what might happen to me if I break.

But my heart refuses to listen to your actions. It tells me that I love you so much, while my mind tells me that I hate you. I hate you because I love you. And I'm torn, Sasuke. I'm torn between love and hate and I don't know what to do.

You're pale hand caresses my cheek and I know you're looking at me. But I won't meet your gaze this time; I won't let myself fall in love with you again.

"Hinata," you whisper, and I almost cry. I haven't heard anyone call my name for so long. "Hinata, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me." But I won't Sasuke, not this time.

You sigh and reach out your hand, stroking my hair gently. I frown and pull away, my eyes accidently meeting yours.

And I'm confused Sasuke, please don't do this to me. Please, don't cry, you have no right to cry! All you've ever done is hurt me and now you break down and show this pathetic weakness that I never thought you'd ever show to anyone else. You whisper how sorry you are and you cry salty tears to me.

And I'm touched Sasuke. I'm touched, like every other time you cry to me. I know you were forced into a marriage you did not want but that does not stop my pain, Sasuke.

And you reach out and you hold me in your arms and you cry. And I cry, Sasuke. I cry so hard, hoping that I will finally forget you.

I try and tell myself you don't care, that you don't love me, but I know you do. I know you love me so much, that you wish it was me you had married. You're the first person to ever love me since my mother.

And I need you, but I can't have you.

Once again, I wonder whether you feel regret for the pain you put me through. I wonder whether you'd care if I died right now.

And it breaks my heart to know that you do care and that it would kill you if I were to die. Just knowing that you carry this same pain as me is torture. It kills me, Sasuke. I often wish that you wouldn't love me, just so you would be spared of this pain.

And I know you understand my anguish; I know you hate my father for everything he put me through. I know you don't think yourself to be the only one who has ever suffered. I'm so sorry that I pretend to myself that you're a bad person, just so that I might forget you. But I never will.

So, instead, I kiss you so softly and hope that one day I can move on.

That is a lie, I try to wish to move on, but I never will. I will never wish to leave your presence, because I love you.

You kiss me softly on my forehead, and I fall asleep in your arms, praying that I never have to leave you again. But I know that tomorrow, you will leave me for your wife. And that, tomorrow, both you and I will break just that tiny bit more.

* * *

I'm really not quite sure what this is but anyway... An unenthusiastic attempt to write a sasuhina that ended up as a complete disaster.

But anyway I guess SOMEONE; SOMEWHERE might enjoy this so I'll put this up anyway. If you didn't like it, feel free to bitch about it if that's what you want to do, whatever floats your boat.

I guess constructive criticism would be nice but it's not necessary.

Well, ciao!


End file.
